Night
Sky
I went outside the other evening, well after sunset, and
wandered through the greenbelt down to the Sound. Front door lights and
street lamps cast pockets of light along the way; in only a few spots was it so
dark I was unsure of my footing. As I
approached Chambers Bay, light was all about me, streetlights, car lights,
light from homes across the water. Looking up, I cupped my hands near my eyes to block what light I could,
to better see the stars.
It had been a long time since I was out alone at night,
quiet, looking at the sky. It takes
effort now. Growing up on a farm, all I
had to do was step outside behind the house, just halfway down the hill, and
all was quiet, dark. Country dark, then;
just starlight, or, if there was a moon, moonlight.
All I need to do is cast my mind back, and I am there, a
child standing on a hill.
It’s autumn; the dog is with me. The sun has just set, and as I watch, the
fields and colors of the day are hidden by the settling night. Shadows blur and blend to a seamless dark, until
finally I cannot see my feet. So
quiet. I close my eyes. All I hear is the hollow rattle of empty corn
husks, like thin, wooden chimes. The dog
leans against me.
Slowly I open my eyes and look up. Stars, thousands of them, brilliantly bright,
are poured across the country sky. I
follow the sides of the Big Dipper to the North Star; I see Orion and his belt. Swirling paths of light, filled with stars,
arc through the constellations. Earth;
boundless sky; I am part of it, lost in it, the stars all but singing out to
me. And I am near to bursting suddenly,
chest full.
It is different now. And I am different now.
Now I look up at the stars, fainter and fewer, and think
about time and space.
Stars live so long a time. The largest live for only millions of years,
but others, like our sun, for billions of years; others up to a trillion
years. Such a length of time is
unfathomable to me. Nor am I able to
envision billions of galaxies spinning in an observable universe 28 (or 93, depending
how you look at it) billion light
years across, and extending beyond that, ever-expanding, possibly infinite.
I yearn for a more human scale. I turn to the starlight.
The light from most stars we can see with the naked eye
are anywhere from four to perhaps a thousand light years away. So the light I see has been travelling
anywhere from four to a thousand years.
And only now has it reached my eyes.
Perhaps the light began its journey when Shakespeare was
writing plays, or clocks were invented, or a magnetic compass was first used
for sea travel.
If I could somehow view Earth from the stars, I could see
it happen, watch history unfold: ancient civilizations, the development of
writing, sailing ships and steam engines, Magna Carta.
But I would choose other things: to see my parents when
they were young, when they met, when they married. See them lift me from my bassinet. I would revisit times with people I’ve loved
and lost or linger on moments when my children were small.
And perhaps I might see myself, a child on a hill, dog at
her side, thrilled by the night sky.
For now, earth-bound, I stand, lost in memories of people
I have known and loved, dear people beyond my reach, beyond my touch. I see them moving among the stars, somewhere
in space and time and light. Looking up,
my heart full, the stars seeming so near, I feel them with me.
May, 2019